Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Hard, but Fair
I dont even know how many times my daddy said that to me about life. So much I guess that after a while it even makes since. I feel so old sometimes. I am 28. But I feel like retirement should be around the corner. In the past three years, I have lost my research permit for the project that made me want to do this PhD, I have been misdiagnosed and told I would never get out of bed again, I have been the subject of scandal and office politics with regards to my passion, I have been on and off of drugs that made me feel silly, emotional or just plain sad, I have been in and out of consoulors' offices, and I have buried my mother and watched my family, peice by peice, fall apart. And through all of it, I know that life is hard, but fair. I hear people tell me that it will be ok. I tell myself it will be ok. But I am tired of waking up in the morning wondering if today will be ok. I feel old. My apologies for the diatribe.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hey bud.. try to remember to find the laughter in each day. Often times it's in life's cruel ironies that we find it hardest to laugh at ourselves... yet that laughter is more often then not the key to finding that last bit of courage and strength to weather another day - especially when the tough ones come nonstop. Go read Desiderata again! ;)
(ps. it's linked off of my page if you don't have a copy handy..I was considering wallpapering my bath with it. lol!)
Old before your time. I suppose if age were measured by experiences and not by years you'd have retired before the end of undergrad.
Life is hard, but I don't know about fair. Fairness is one of those cruel sociological ideals that will never really occur, yet we all strive toward it. If life were really fair, hard working people would be respected and rewarded while those who contribute little to society would be shunned. Fairness would eliminate middle management.
You can bet that any given day will not be okay, but get out of bed and face it knowing you have true friends (even if they are hundreds of miles away).
Life's not fair....it never will be. That's why movie stars make millions and teachers and social workers starve. But I think for the most part, it's good enough. I do believe in a sort of karmic retribution -- the more crap piled up on top of you, the better you'll have it later. Well, even if it isn't true, it helps me to think it may be. :)
And not that it'll make you feel better, but I am reminded of a poem by Stephen Crane. Just to show you that we all feel irrelevant sometimes:
A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
Post a Comment